


Alone

by annoyinglyethical



Category: The Newsroom (US TV)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-09 05:19:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17995625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annoyinglyethical/pseuds/annoyinglyethical
Summary: For him - sometimes there is just someone you will never be able to fall out of love with...





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

> For him - sometimes there is just someone you will never be able to fall out of love with...

The wind was whipping her hair into knots and perfectly reflecting how she felt in this moment. Another day to everyone else had been another eight hours of torture as she tried to pretend she didn't feel the way she did. Street lights illuminated the footpath as she pulled her coat tight to her chest to try and retain some warmth. As she walked further away from the building a sinking feeling built in her chest. Why was this so difficult? Every day it was like another part of her was chipped away as she silently willed him to read her mind. Despite every shared laugh and long look that gave her hope, she knew that she was wishing for something she couldn't have.  
  
Completely distracted she was following her memorised path home, but then someone familiar entered her peripheral vision.

"Hey Sloan. What you up to?" He said with a grin.  
  
She smiled back. Although not who she had been thinking of, Steve was still sweet and she was glad to see a friendly face. "Hey there. Just walking home. How was your day?"  
  
They fell into comfortable conversation as they walked side by side as the sun finally completely disappeared and left them in shadows. In the street light she studied his face and she decided that he was handsome. She'd noticed a familiar look in his eyes that she had seen from a few men before - she could only describe it as a combination of thoughtful suprise and desire. The memory of that look on someone else's face over a glass of whisky overwhelmed and distracted her from whatever Steve was talking about.

As they neared her turn off she was about to say goodbye when he asked her to come with him for a drink. Perhaps it was how cold she was or maybe it was the rushing thoughts she couldn't push away, but she really needed a drink and didn't want to go home just yet.  
  
As they reached the entrance of the bar, he let her go ahead and she was suprised to feel his hand on her lower back guiding her through the door. She was suddenly not so sure what she was getting herself into. Soon enough she had drink in front of her and Sloan made her best efforts to ask questions and convince him she was engaged. Despite reasonable effort, she wasn't really listening.  
  
It seemed nothing she did, not the alcohol or another man looking at her the way she wanted, could distract her from the thought of tomorrow. She knew it would be another meeting and another hour spent trying not to stare at his hands and think of how amazing it would feel to have his fingers inside her. As that fantasy swirled around in her mind for the millionth time she felt her nipples harden in her bra.  
  
Frustrated with herself Sloan decided to push the whole ridiculous fantasy of her and Don out of her mind and focus on the man in front of her that was demonstrating that he wanted her. She fell into a familiar pattern and started to tease him. Steve looked thrilled at this slight change in attitude and she felt his knee bump up against hers under the table. As the second drink started to take effect, she felt herself beginning to enjoy this. The attention wasn't from the person she really wanted, but it was distracting and that was all she needed tonight.  
  
An hour of laughter and flirting passed quickly. Steve was very sweet and clearly very interested, but when his hand dropped onto her thigh she realised that this really wasn't what she wanted. Despite her very best efforts she was still fixated on the fantasy of someone else. As Steve told her about his past she smiled and laughed at the right moments but again she had lost herself. She imagined herself on someone else's desk, legs spread, his face between her thighs as she moaned his name. Steve asked her a question, and she was sure she answered, but her mind was stuck on the image of someone else behind her, hands running up her thighs, and then him pulling her hair as he fucked her.  
  
Steve was leaning in closer and she felt a wave of guilt wash over her. She knew it wasn't fair to give him the wrong impression like this. Sloan had considered it, but she didn't really want to sleep with him. She liked to play with fire, but she couldn't drag this poor man any further into her chaos. Before he could find a way to get his hand on her thigh again, she told him that she needed to get home. He paid for her drinks, and walked her home. The conversation between them had become slightly awkward and she could see in his eyes that he wanted to say something. She really hoped he wouldn't.  
  
When they reached her street and they said goodbye he was full of compliments and assured her that he would see her again. Sloan smiled and said all the right things, but she knew she wouldn't do this again. As she walked the final few streets alone, her mind turned to everything she had been trying to avoid. She would never be a religious person, but she found herself praying she could read his mind. There was nothing that made her feel so desperate as not knowing.  
  
When she finally found herself at her door, she went straight into the bathroom and turned on the shower to the hottest setting. Staring at herself in the mirror as she undressed, she wondered if he ever thought of her reaching around to remove her bra and her hands sliding her underwear off. As she moved under the water, she couldn't help but think of him like this - naked and wet - and hoped that he thought of her too. She stood still for a moment directly under the showerhead just letting the water, almost so hot it was painful, warm her up. It felt amazing running along her body and she decided to just give up and let go. Her eyes fluttered closed and she carefully ran her fingers along her stomach to her chest.  
  
Skimming her fingers across her nipples she couldn't help but arch her back. When she pinched them a quiet moan escaped her lips. Keeping one hand at her chest, she let the other one run down her body. Without hesitation she slipped her hand between her thighs and ran a finger across her clit. She had been thinking of him for most of the day so she wasn't suprised to find herself dripping wet.  
  
Once she found a comfortable rhythm on her clit, she indulged herself in her favourite fantasy.  
  
In her mind they would be sitting across from each other, drink in hand, talking as they always did. Except instead of leaving frustrated, as she always did, he would be the one who dropped his hand on her thigh. When she looked up at him in suprise, he would finally kiss her. At first it would be careful and unsure, but when she leaned in and kissed him back it would become desperate. She imagined him pulling her from her chair so he could get his body closer to hers. His lips would move to her neck as she moaned his name.  
  
No longer able to take one more minute of not knowing what he felt like, she would undo his belt as he ran his hands up her thighs. He would pull her underwear off and lift her onto the table running his hands through her hair as he kissed her deeper. He would slide inside of her and the feeling of him would immediately bring her close to the edge. His hands would be firm on her hips, holding her exactly where he wanted her as he pounded her. He would leave bruises on her hips to remind her of how this felt.  
  
As she lost herself in the thought of him inside her, she moved her finger from her clit. Slipping one finger inside, she couldn't help but whisper his name. When she moved to two, and then three fingers, the moan wasn't quiet anymore. She could feel herself getting closer to the edge as she imagined him getting closer as he fucked her. She cleared her mind and thought about his hands on her ass and how it would feel to have him cum inside her. One final moan and she felt everything fall away as her body shook for him.  
  
Several minutes passed as she let the hot water wash it all away. The water started to cool and she finally dragged herself from the shower. She fell into bed completely naked and totally exhausted. As she drifted off to sleep she couldn't help but wish that one day this wouldn't just be a fantasy. 

 


End file.
